Far Away
by Pafoof
Summary: Can't put into a summary. Sirius' love is taken away and he tries to pick up pieces. Songfic to Nickleback's Far Away


**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize isn't mine, said and done**

**A/N Yeah just a reminder to review when you're done. I find this fic to be one of my best songfics ever. I cried while writing it which was pretty sad but that could be because I'm ridiculously attached to this pairing.**

"Far Away"

Music, Sirius loathed music of all kind. Music represented love to him, love and happiness, something he had lost years ago. A few years in Azkaban had only increased his hatred for it. Now, when the Dementors finally weren't around someone had the nerve to play music. On a flashback weekend of all times, thus, he knew each and every song. Each song triggered a new memory, memories of his love long gone. Emily Cocovitz had deeply loved music and their relationship was full of it. A slow, soft tune drifted to his ears and he felt his hear tighten greatly. As he closed his eyes he drifted to a different time and place, the happiest time of his life, the time when he could be with Emily. "Better dead than what happened to her," that's what people always said when her situation came up. How he wished that somehow that her fate could have been spared from her.

_This time_

_This place_

_Misused, mistakes_

In an instant he was back within Hogwarts' safe walls; the place where he had spent the best and worst years of his life. Where had felt love deep enough to consume his soul and hate so powerful it could rival Satan's. He had made several mistakes but had had the chance to rectify most of them, except for one.

_Too long, too late_

_Who was I to make you wait_

The night Emily was……destroyed was the only word that could be used to describe what happened to her. Death Eaters had tortured her into mild insanity that progressively got worse with time. Leaving his love with a world half reality and half fantasy, the Ministry had had to put her to sleep so to say, for that would be far kinder. He had bad been at Auror camp having fun. They had been in a dueling championship and he had felt a strong feeling of dread but had ignored it. But then again, how many people think that someone a country away would get attacked by Death Eaters at sixteen?

_Just one chance_

_Just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left_

_Cause you know_

"Sirius, are you alright?" Emily asked timidly as her boyfriend of three months paced furiously in front of her, Sirius remained silent. Emily sighed and stepped in front of him causing Sirius to stop. "Is it your parents?" Sirius heaved a heave sigh and nodded while running a hand through his hair. Emily gave a sympathetic smile and squeezed his shoulder.

"Hogsmeade weekend this Saturday," Sirius mumbled as he slumped against a wall. "I still can't go! I hate him, he can't sign a fucking piece of paper for me and he's my father! God damn it all, I want to take you Em, but I can't." Emily put her arms around him.

"I know you would, and Hogsmeade trips don't make a relationship. You're an excellent boyfriend and I love you."

_You know_

"I brought you back some beans," Emily said smiling and holding out a bag.

"They're my favorite!" Sirius said smiling and popping a few in his mouth.

"I know."

_You know_

_That I love you_

"You know I love you, right, Emily?" Sirius asked as they laid by the lake entwined in each other's arms.

"I have since the first time you kissed me."

"And you will until the last," Sirius sealed his promise with a kiss.

_I have loved you all along_

"She isn't your wife, Black!" Moody snapped as the sun beat down on them as they strode side by side down the dirt path.

"I'd marry her in an instant, isn't that close enough?!" Sirius yelled. Moody turned to face his unofficial son, speechless.

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

"Black, homework," Moody said glancing over to the teen sitting at his kitchen table.

"Oh, right," Sirius mumbled gluing his eyes to his textbook once again. Five minutes later Sirius was again doodling with his eyes glazed over. Moody sighed and walked over. He peered over Sirius' shoulder to see Emily written all over his parchment.

"Girls doodle Black; you need a new piece by the way. Calm down, you'll see her soon enough." Sirius jumped and Moody chuckled as his face turned beet red.

_I keep dreaming_

_You'll be with me_

_And you'll never go_

_Stop breathing _

_If I don't see you anymore_

"Emily!" Sirius cried out in his sleep. Remus and James exchanged a glance and Remus went to sit beside him.

"Pads, Padfoot, wake up!" Sirius still thrashed and soon tears were rolling down his pale face. He started awake sobbing.

"She's gone Padfoot," Remus said choking on the words. "I'm so sorry."

"Remus, bring her back, please bring her back," Sirius knew what he asked was impossible and irrational.

"I can't Pads," Remus whispered rocking the raven haired teen back and forth until he fell into dreams.

_On my knees_

_I'll ask_

"Please," Sirius whispered, hands clasped, as he knelt beside his bed. "Iknow we're not the closest of buddies or anything but, please God, bring her back. Make Emily okay again. See, she's the nicest person I've ever known and she doesn't deserve this. Tomorrow she'll be meeting you but I swear it's not time yet. I need her, answer this one prayer for me, please." Tears coursed their way down Sirius' cheeks as he finished his prayer and climbed into bed. It rained that night as God cried because he couldn't answer the teen's only prayer.

_Last chance_

_For one last dance_

"And keep dancing because perhaps one day you can feel my arms around you again," Sirius whispered. He kissed Emily on the temple and a faint smile was on her face as her eyes drifted shut for the last time.

_Cause with you_

_I'd withstand_

_All of hell_

_To hold your hand_

Sirius shook slightly as he raised his eyes to the Dark Lord's. The man was a monster, the rumor had turned out to be true.

"Do you miss your girlfriend, Black? My Death Eaters reported they so enjoyed toying with her." Sirius shook even more with anger joining his fear and pain. He could easily see that Voldemort wanted to kill him. Emily's face filled his mind.

"Kill me," Sirius rasped out.

"Gladly, but you'll have to go out with a bang I'm afraid."

"I don't care." The torture started, Voldemort burned and cut him, even poured salt into his cuts. Then he used pain, but before he could finish the job twenty Aurors rushed in and he disappeared. Sirius was once again robbed of his chance to see Emily.

_I'd give it all_

_I'd give for us_

_Give anything_

_But I won't give up_

"What was _that!?_" Moody barked, slamming the hospital wing door shut behind him. Sirius winced and tried to sit up but a whimper escaped him. "Oh, lie down like the pathetic asshole you are."

"Moody…."

"Sources say Black, that you begged him to kill you-"

"I didn't beg"

"Fine, ask, whatever way you wish to put it. I thought you were a better man than that, obviously not."

"I am-"

"Begging for death, no one could possibly gain my respect that way. I will not have an Auror on my force that begs to any Death Eater."

"Where'd you hear……?"

"Snape, he was watching."

"He's lying"

"I thought so until the moment he said Cocovitz was brought up." Moody sighed and ran a hand through his ever thinning and graying hair. "She's gone, how many times does it need to be said before it sinks into your thick head?"

"I-"

"You can't give up now kid, you've gotten through the worst. You disappointed me back there."

"I'm sorry."

"You've got a lot of thinking to do."

_I wanted_

_I wanted you to stay_

_Cause I needed_

_I need to hear you say_

"Hey this is Emily and Sirius; we're now available right now. We're out-"

"-or busy with _other _things" Sirius' voice cut in, cutting off Emily's voice on the answering machine. She laughed loudly.

"_Si,_ well, please leave a message-"

"-Unless you're an asshole-"

"-yes, or a Slytherin, right hon?"

"Finally you get it Emily." Sirius couldn't explain why he kept dialing Emily's cell phone number

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

Sirius whistled as he unpacked box after box. He was ecstatic to finally have his won flat at last. It was finally the last box and then the unending task would be done. He felt his hand touch something soft. He looked down to see a stuffed small black dog. Sirius slowly picked it up and deeply inhaled its scent, it smelled like her still. He ran his fingers over the now familiar engraving on the tag. "Keep shining, my star." He turned it over and for the first time saw the faint message on the back.

"I love you forever and always,

Emily Rose

_And I forgive you_

_For being away_

_For far too long_

"I never thought I'd see you again." Sirius whispered into Emily's hair. She was dressed all in white, really and angel. He was with her in heaven at last. She pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"You're a fool for letting that night eat you up for all those years. It's not your fault, it never was. Of course I forgive you." At these words tears fell from the silver eyes for the last time.

_Keep breathing_

_Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Hold onto me _

_And never let me go_


End file.
